Why I Left

Oh yeah, I used to write about hockey, didn't I?

It seems convenient that I write about hockey, when we are in the middle of another NHL lockout, yes? o_O I recall last season, when during the all-star break, I suddenly stopped updating my hockey blog, and didn't give a reason why. There are a few reasons I wish to tell you:

1. Too many suspensions: The subject on everyone's lips last season was the daily controversial hockey hit, and whether such illegal body checks warranted four or six game suspensions depending on the player, and I really did not want my blog to become a jumping off post for rants and ANGRY WORDS SPELT WITH ALL CAPS. In my hometown, there is a daily radio talk show dedicated to hockey, and almost everyday there would be some heated argument over another blown call by a referee, another player injured with a concussion, another suspended player given way less than everyone thought he deserved, another Zapruder-like film study, and another case of psycho-analysis of the aggressor and his "intent". Entering that debate never interested me; yes, I did write about illegal hockey hits and suspensions in prior posts, but I didn't want to regurgitate the same old stuff day after day, so I decided to stop altogether unless something interesting (different) occurred.
2. Conspiracy, conspiracy: I always thought teams played for "not to lose" on an annual basis, so when three-point games became the norm I didn't feel like writing about that conspiracy theory of match fixing all over again: Guarantee your one point, don't break your back trying to score in five minutes of overtime, and throw your goalie under the bus because you didn't get the "bonus point". What bonus point? o_O There are two points to win in every game; how does the second point become the bonus point? It's still two points. If a win in regulation time was worth three points, then...great, I did it again! -_- I put half my audience to sleep AGAIN!
3. Refs under orders? One NHL team that has no owner, no sustainable market for hockey, and no fan base in a town with no money to support its professional sports teams or stadiums is in the playoffs, while another NHL team plays in the second largest media market in the United States, and always benefited from favourable calls and non-calls since The Gretzky Trade (Yes, Kerry Fraser, I am talking about you). Which teams did I allude to in the previous sentence? Which teams met in last year's Western Conference Final? Which team won that playoff series off of a blown call (again)? Which team won the Stanley Cup last year?
4. Stupid, stupid, stupid: Why is Winnipeg still in the Southeast division?!

I have other reasons for not updating this blog, but those are the first four that came to mind. Hockey is a great game, and as a Canadian I will always love it. I might write something about it, now and then, but with other blogs to write, and work I don't have too much time to spend talking about collective bargaining agreements, and referee biases towards struggling NHL teams in the sun-belt. Maybe it is time to move on.

Seriously, it's not that difficult: Winnipeg in the Northwest, Minnesota in the Central, Nashville in the Southeast, HELLO?!

Anger Management: Leafs Goaltending

MEN OF SCIENCE! Even the periodic table regales us with the chemical makeup of both Maple Leafs goaltenders

Do you know why I am ANGRY? My former favourite sports radio station, FAN 590, broadcasted after the Toronto Maple Leafs' victorious 1-0 shutout performance against the Pittsburgh Penguins earlier this week that there could be a goaltending controversy between fan-favourite James Reimer, who shutout the Crosby-less Penguins, and Swedish goaltending project Jonas Gustavsson, whose recent form kept the Maple Leafs in the playoff race for this long in the NHL regular season (Leafs currently in seventh o_O).

However, I am ANGRY because, while everyone listens to the FAN 590 when they say there is goaltending controversy brewing in Toronto, I say the EXACT thing more than a week earlier and no one listens to me! NOBODY! X(

When Gustavsson got the starting nod to replace the injured Reimer, won a string of games, and posted a pair of shutouts, I said there was a goaltending controversy WAY before ANYONE else, and NO ONE listens to me! My readers get what I'm talking about; they know I don't lie. This is the same man who said "What is the Bible?" for Final Jeopardy without reading the answer or knowing the topic and got it right way back in 2007, and who said "Major League Baseball will become all-designated hitter in both leagues before the start of the 2013 regular season". I caught and put it online for everyone to see, and aside from my enlightened readers no one bothered to ask for an interview, give me an hour-long syndicated radio program, or tell me "Hey Phil, Taylor Swift is on the other line; she is dying to talk to you about hockey, Mike & Ike candies, and she wants to hear your famous retelling of the Borschevsky Goal".

I'm angry...I'm upset. That's it! I'm not talking about hockey anymore! I'm done! I had it! I'm through! I'm going back to playing video games and getting fat! I had enough! Alright, it's working! I'm playing the same hours of video games I used to play, I'm eating an entire Delissio Pizza, I'm keeping my parents up all night by screaming at the television when I play NHL 97. Alright, let's go back to being in shape and writing about hockey.

An All-Star Sonnet for Ovechkin

(Sing to the tune of "Mandy")


Oh Ovie, you skipped the All-Star Game on purpose
Because you needed the rest, oh Ovie!


Oh Ovie, we missed all your All-Star game antics,
But you're suspended for three, oh Ovie!

Goaltending Controversy? Where?!

What would the National Hockey League be like if there were no controversial season-hinging decisions made about the most critical of all position on the professional hockey rink? No, not if I should get the hot chocolate or the hamburger, but who is the starting goaltender and who sits on the bench?

Like a return to writing about hockey, Jonas Gustavsson's return may plant the seeds to controversy down the road.

The controversy I refer to is not the garden variety store version being played out in Vancouver with Olympic hero Roberto Luongo and fan favourite Cory Schneider, who is in his contract year with the Canucks organization and looking to make a statement with exemplary away performances against the San Jose Sharks (W 3-2) and Cup champion Boston Bruins (W 4-3). No, the unknown controversy bug rears its head in Toronto of all places! o_O

While they languish in ninth place in the playoff hunt and are without the oft-injured James Reimer, the Maple Leafs turn to former Swedish sensation Jonas Gustavsson, in part because there is no one else on the bench to block shots and make glove saves. Well, there is Ben Scrivens of the Marlies, but he is not ready yet o_O Under a steady barrage of 30+ shots per game from top NHL opponents, Jonas Gustavsson surprised many keeping the Maple Leafs in the playoff hunt. Nevertheless, Leafs general manager Brian Burke insists the team can do much better, their goals remain high, and the playoff campaign will be long and not just "one and done". Aside from losing spells, as is common with the post-lockout era Maple Leafs, Jonas Gustavsson had to play to get back on the team. The bus rides and motel stays with the Maple Leafs' AHL farm team, the Toronto Marlies, helped and not hindered Gustavsson's resolve to improve and perform, albeit with a one game over 500 record in twenty four games so far this season.

Leafs coach Ron Wilson wants to play the "hot hand", but do you wait until the hand falls off before making a change? How does one stop being "hot": Do they need to lose one game, three in succession, or make it so the Maple Leafs are once again mathematically out of the running for the playoffs? I'm not the head coach, but I trust Wilson will see the signs of wear and tear early before the spring and the next tee off time.


NHL TONIGHT?

NHL Tonight = NHL on the FLY = Basically the same hockey reports a la TSN style. I expected highlight packages, in-depth interviews, and debate as commonly found on the NFL Network, but I was sadly mistaken :( Perhaps that's why I'm more into football than ever before, and I don't write about the National Football League!

Against The Odds

Similar to the old Calgary Flames of 2004, this blog beat the odds in climbing over the 1000 view plateau ^_^ It was a long climb to the top o_O with lots of blogs written about the good old Canadian game played with American money, in a league with a majority of American teams, in stadiums where the outdoor temperature is seventy-two degrees Fahrenheit on average more or less, but I digress...

Unfortunately, there were casualties along the way. The "Saturday Shoot-around" idea, which wasn't really a thing to begin with, is one of those casualties. The weekly weekend comedy spin on the NHL wasn't as receptive as I believed, and with the increase of workload from other projects I am taking on at the moment to maintain Saturday Shoot-around would take more time than I have.

Hockey, however, is still as popular as it ever was, so for a weekly spin on the ballet on ice, which frequently turns into a boxing match and then spirals out of control into a hockey game, come to "Behind Blue Lines" ^_^ (Spiralling out of control? o_O)

Spontaneous Statutory Holiday & Winter Classic Pregame

As it turns out, I have January 2nd off because New Years' Day fell on a Sunday this year o_O Happy New Year! It's good to return to a regular schedule after all that gift wrapping, gift unwrapping, sickness being, early weight loss program planning for baseball, et cetera.

The Winter Classic between the Philadelphia Flyers and the New York Rangers begins in a few minutes. I say that sparingly, of course, since the league pushed the time of the January 2nd outdoor game to 3pm. Uncharacteristically, the weather in Philadelphia, or at least at Citizen Bank Park, which is the site of the game, is warmer than usual, so the league moved the start time back from 1pm.

I noticed the Rangers wearing fake retro jerseys for the game (?). I say fake retro because I don't remember the Rangers logo being so...BIG? The first logo common to Rangers fans and haters alike, but someone with Photoshop pulled the bottom of the logo to give the logo a pronounced curve.

I am a little disappointed with the Rangers as they waived the albeit controversial Steve Avery a week before the big game. I wrote about Steve Avery in his return to the New York Rangers' team roster last November, and hoped he could turn his game around and become the big time player the Detroit Red Wings expected him when they drafted Avery in 2001. To my knowledge, no one picked up his contract yet from off the waiver wire. The New York Rangers are the best team in the Eastern Conference right now, and there is enough depth in the lineup for coach John Tortorella and general manager Glen Sather to make this change.

I hope this does not dampen Steve Avery's spirit, and he continues to improve on and off the ice.

As for the Philadelphia Flyers, this game more than breaks the franchise record for attendance for a home game. The expectation is that the Philadelphia Flyers will win, but history is against the home team in the annual New Years' game. The road team won the contest three of the last four Classic games, as the players on the home team have the proverbial "gun to their heads". Expect the conference-leading Rangers to take chances and stay loose, but if the game is close in the later stages look for Van Riemsdyk and the Flyers to pull ahead. Otherwise, the league will push for the teams to take the game to a SHOOTOUT o_O

Blue Lines Revisited

In reviewing my blog entries from the past year, I decided to provide updates on the top stories of 2011 in "Behind Blue Lines". Well, that's too easy...I'll throw in a comedic twist ^_^ LOL

• Saying This Will Get Me Killed: Although Robin from HIMYM did rip up a Douglas fir and chase me with it, I am still very much alive.
• Mississauga, Relevancy, and the Memorial Cup: It's not only a trivia question, but it was also the second-last season for the Majors in Mississauga. The only thing that will prevent another departure of an OHL team from the Greater Toronto Area is a Memorial Cup win.
• Fun With NHL Realignment: My first realignment proposal before Gary Bettman and the Marx Brothers at NHL Marketing threw everyone for a loop, as well as a pie to my face (Yum, lemon meringue?)
• Forgotten Fire: A favourite column of mine, and one of my more recent good works (Surprising, I know! I mean, recent and good!)

To hockey fans around the world, and up my nose, I MEAN, up the street, have a wonderful New Year ^_^ See you in 2012!

WHAT THE MAGIC?

Islanders goaltender made two mistakes in this photo: The SECOND one is allowing that goal.

Dear New York Islanders,

I think I know why you lost 5-3 to the Toronto Maple Leafs in tonight's regular season contest, which saw you give up three goals to start the first period.

1. Collect jerseys + shorts from previous game
2. Put clothes in pile
3. Take pile into front parking lot
4. Ask players, coaches, management, and everyone affiliated with organization to form a circle, hold hands, and chant "Men of Snow" by Ingird Michaelson.
5. Ask Evgeni Nabokov to light a match, and set the pile on fire.
6. Continue chanting song until fire reduces pile of uniforms to ashes.
7. Never speak of those jerseys again.

Done and done ^_^

My NHL Christmas Wish List

With the NHL Christmas Break approaching, now would be an excellent time to go over my Wish List for the National Hockey League: What things I want, don't want, and no longer need.

Morley Safer: Don't worry, yo, I got this!

1. Three Points For a Regulation Win: I'm not a conspiracy buff, but when playoff teams drag contests into the wee hours of the morning to earn something from "three-point games" I throw up the red flag. Of the 517 regular season games played so far in the NHL, 110 went into the extra period, and of those 64 went to the shootout! So, in at least 20% of NHL games this season, 100% of kids attending the games with their parents were out way past their bedtimes! So that kids can tucked into bed, where sugar puck fairies (Ottawa Senators?) can dance in their heads, give a bonus to teams that finish the game in the least amount of time possible: 60 Minutes! In the time Morley Safer finishes his essay on the United States budget gap, the Toronto Maple Leafs can earn three points for winning a hockey game after three periods of play. Should a game require overtime and/or a shootout, the winner receives two points and the losing team earns one for putting the kids to sleep.



By the way, Joey Crabb (left) and the Leafs beat the Islanders (?) 5-3 tonight! ^_^

2. Goal Judges: What are they there for? We have cameras inside each hockey net, and above the net to review every puck which comes close to crossing the goal line! There is even technology available for when a player scores a goal, an alarm would sound the moment the puck crosses the line and enters the net. In an almost redundant exercise, a nameless, faceless, biased official chosen by the home team checks to see if he thinks the puck is inside the goal line and the net. Besides, those are prime seats! One could earn some serious coin selling tickets for that spot in the arena! ^_^
3. NHL Realignment Strategy: Alright, here is what I would do if the National Hockey League asked me to realign the league for the following season: Put Winnipeg in the NORTHWEST Division, place Minnesota in the CENTRAL, and replace the empty spot in the SOUTHEAST Division with Nashville! QUICK and SIMPLE, but no one listens to me! GRR!

Dear Behind Blue Lines readers,

I wanted to try out this thing called "Saturday Shootaround", which I'm not sure is a thing yet. I planned on doing it twice over the next couple of weeks, but since Christmas Eve and New Years' Eve fall on Saturdays this year I'm holding off until the new year. Don't worry, I intend on writing at least once on the subject of the great game of hockey each week ^_^ Maybe I'll try "Saturday Shootaround" in 2012; in the meantime, click this musical ode to old-time hockey starring the Philadelphia Flyers and the Los Angeles Kings!

Saturday Shootaround #9

A friend asked me why I number these "Saturday Shootaround" posts if "Saturday Shootaround" isn't a thing. Well, if they become a thing, then I will know how many I typed out before officially calling them a thing. I'm still not sure if "Saturday Shootaround" is a thing, so...

1. The news are preliminary, but NHL.com reports the Montreal Canadiens fired head coach Jacques Martin this morning o_O Considering their 13-12-7 record is good for propping up the other teams in the Northeast Division, I don't blame them for making the change. This is the sixth firing so far this season, and it's not even Christmas yet! One league is firing all of its head coaches, and another league is looking to hire big name coaches. I wonder how football coach Jon Gruden would handle the Montreal Canadiens? Anyone picture Brian Billick yelling about the 'lethargic' offense from behind the bench in Los Angeles? No...okay. When he lost his job in Ottawa, Martin went to the Siberian outpost of coaching spots in the National Hockey League, which is Florida (not so cold). No doubt, after bringing the Canadiens back from mediocrity, he will have another head coaching spot in a year or so. Randy Cunneyworth is the interim head coach for Montreal in the meantime.
2. Dave Semenko must be proud ^_^ Another hockey organization retired the #27 in his honour. I'm just kidding, they retired #27 in honour of former Devils defenseman Scott Niedermayer. The future Hall-of-Famer played on all three of the Devils' Cup-winning teams in 1995, 2000, and 2003 (Wow, spanning two decades ^_^). He also amassed 172 goals, and 740 points in just 1200 regular season games for the Devils (1991-2004) and Ducks (2006-2010), with whom he won his fourth Stanley Cup in 2006 over the lousy Ottawa Senators. Niedermayer's #27 is the third number retired by the New Jersey Devils organization, and joins fellow blueliners Ken Daneyko (#3) and Scott Stevens (#4) as the only men to be so honoured. Oh yeah, in his last year of professional hockey he played on Team Canada in the 2010 Winter Olympics, and won his second gold medal (Not that we care so much about hockey up here in Canada...). No Devils forwards received honours quite like this so far, which tells you something about the brand of hockey played in New Jersey, but they don't care: How many Cups did the Leafs win since I was alive? Yea, that's what they asked me, too -_-
3. Hey, look at that! Martin Brodeur and former Devils coach Larry Robinson are in the background of that picture I embedded in the previous point! Why it was only yesterday that I saw this on YouTube...(Dream sequence). Wow, they look...exactly the same o_O

To end this post, enjoy this video from the Scott Niedermayer retirement ceremony which took place yesterday ^_^ Where did I put it? Oh yeah, there it is.

The Forgotten Fire: The 2004 Calgary Flames

Flames captain Jarome Iginla (second from right) celebrates with teammates after Martin Gelinas' OT winner started team on incredible journey through the 2004 playoffs

Last Saturday, the Calgary Flames defeated their provincial rivals, the Edmonton Oilers, 3-0 at the Pengrowth Saddledome in Calgary, Alberta. Captain Jarome Iginla scored two of the Flames' three markers while goaltender Miikka Kiprusoff shut out the likes of Ryan Nugent-Hopkins, Ryan Smyth, and Jordan Eberle. Calgary takes their regular season best three-game win streak into Nashville to take on the Predators tonight at 8:00pm ET.
If names such as Iginla or Kiprusoff are familiar to you, then that may be since they are the last remaining players from the famous Calgary Flames team of 2004. While the Flames fell short of capturing hockey's ultimate prize, the 2004 version captured the hearts of a hockey-mad nation minus a few fans of the Oilers in Edmonton. However justly or unjustly, the expectations on the Flames to win it all still hang like Damocles' Dagger over the heads of management, coaches, and players. Seven teams in the NHL reside in Canada, but in some way there is a national expectation that Calgary return to those days in 2004, when previously unknown players became national icons: From Craig Conroy and his famous "Green Helmet", which passed through the ranks as a token of appreciation to each game's "unsung hero", to Mike Commodore's shiny red wig which became a marketing boon throughout southern Alberta. From Jarome Iginla's lone prime-time feature interview on CBC's The National with Peter Mansbridge, to the lucky yet aged Martin Gelinas, whose series-winning goals throughout the playoffs kicked off celebrations and impromptu road hockey games in the Calgary and along its "Red Mile". Of course, who could forget coach Darryl Sutter and his famous post-game interviews; appearing laid back and enjoying the ride, Sutter had the Canadian media in his pocket, and the American media waiting patiently outside the arena? The "C of Red", the "beaver-tailing", and the live feed from the "Red Mile" still exist in numerous tribute videos on YouTube today.

How did such a team garner so much admiration and praise from a nation without a Stanley Cup winner since 1993 (Montreal Canadiens; go ahead, rub it in)? Yes, that was one reason, yet there were many others. Calgary's road to the postseason was not easy, as it finished in sixth place in the Western Conference that year. Their first series against the division rival and leaders Vancouver Canucks was a spirited, seven-game affair featuring emergency backstops, desperate comebacks, and ultimate overtime success in the penultimate game. Perhaps it was thanks to the first of Gelinas' series winners, which announced the arrival of the team on the national stage? After all, no one believed such a plucky team led by an old-fashioned and defensive-minded coach (Sutter), the first black team captain (Iginla), a player gone twenty-four years since winning his first Cup in 1990 (Gelinas, Edmonton Oilers), and a collection of retreads and unknowns could become the first team to topple three successive division winners in one playoff year (Vancouver (NW), Detroit (CEN), and San Jose (PAC)). Then again, this was the classic Canadian story: A collection of hometown heroes and immigrants brought to one place in pursuit of the same dream, and along the way beat teams more advanced and talented in every position. This was not the story of the Calgary Flames, yet it was the story of the "Canada Flames" (That came from a Toronto Sun cartoon featuring the old Bell beavers Frank and George arguing over the latter's defection to the Calgary ranks).

We remember what was great about the Calgary Flames of 2004, but we also remember the controversy. If the words "Kerry Fraser" mean something to Maple Leafs' supporters, then it means something just as heinous and cruel in the minds of Flames' fans who remember that year. Fans perceived bias when Fraser helped to gift game four to the visiting Tampa Bay Lightning in the Stanley Cup Final, and to add further fuel to the fire the league dropped Fraser from his game six assignment, and put him back in for game seven. All was forgotten when young Oleg Saprykin notched the overtime winner in Game 5 in Tampa to give the Flames a 3-2 lead in the Cup final days later; with victory at home all but assured, CBC and ESPN Classic aired and re-aired select games from the Flames' first Stanley Cup-winning run in 1989. The series was over, the Cup was won, Iginla was MVP, all that remained was sixty minutes of skating around, two or three goals, and maybe a fight featuring Iginla and Bolts' star forward Vincent Lecavalier.

I was on a flight with my family from Toronto to London, England, when the Air-Transat pilot and captain announced to passenger sitting in the sardine can with wings that the Lightning won game six in overtime. He did not mention Gelinas' apparent Cup-winner, which my friend Megan saw cross the line as she was at the game just a few rows up behind then Tampa Bay netminder Nikolai Khabibulin. No one knows what discussion took place when the referees phoned the NHL offices in Toronto as they reviewed the goal. Future CGI interpretations of the event show a black cylindrical object stopping outside the goal, but no concrete footage of the Gelinas' game six overtime winner exists (Or can be found: DUH DUH DUH!). Back in Tampa Bay for game seven, the Lightning vanquished Calgary, who were still dismayed and disillusioned over the league taking their championship away. However, all the expectations Canada heaped on the Toronto Maple Leafs to win the Stanley Cup suddenly fell on the doorstep of the Calgary Flames organization.

The NHL lockout of 2005 distorted our perception of hockey forever in this country. The 2004 Calgary Flames became the paragon of a begone era, when fans did not see players as millionaires fighting multimillionaire owners for money belonging to normal folk. Canadian NHL teams did play in the Cup final in subsequent years since then, but never captured the hearts of Canadians across the country or across social strata: Memories and mistrust about the lockout persisted when the 8th seeded '06 Oilers lost to the Carolina Hurricanes in seven games, the low blow thuggery of the Ottawa Senators in '07 was never a hit with fans, or me for that matter, when they lost in five games to Anaheim, and the geographically detached and international squad from Vancouver played only two periods in the seventh game this past year in the 4-0 loss to the Bruins, which touched off disturbing images of destruction and riot in the streets of Vancouver. All the while, Calgary Flames players, coaches, and management came and went: Conroy, Commodore, Saprykin, Gelinas, Clark, Sutter, beaver-tailing, green helmets, and those red wigs are gone, and the unfortunate story of NHL draft bust Kris Chucko the next year furthered the demise of the Flames' momentum from 2004. Only Iginla and Kiprusoff remain as a paragon to those last days when hockey was more than a game, and not a business.

Today, there is a sense of 2004 and what it meant to the country. Maybe it was Sidney Crosby's gold medal winning goal in the 2010 Olympics that relegated those memories and expectations to the back of our minds, or perhaps it was a return to mediocrity as the Flames sit out the playoff picture in the Western conference? The now retired Craig Conroy sits in as an advisor to current GM Jay Feaster, who managed the Lightning to the Stanley Cup in 2004. Darryl Sutter's brother, Brent, now coaches the team, but for how much longer is anyone's guess given the current state of the team. Rumours persist about where Jarome Iginla will play hockey, and the aging Kiprusoff still holds down the starting goaltender job for the eighth straight year.

To this day, I never saw game six or seven of the 2004 Stanley Cup final. Sad but true, the few good memories I have of the 2004 Calgary Flames resonate in my mind. Had they won, everything I mentioned above would amount to only HALF of their accomplishments, but I would give it all back for Martin Gelinas to roof the puck over a laid out Khabibulin in overtime in Game 6 of the 2004 Cup final, because...

They deserved it.

Written in memory of Mrs. Anna Ficych, 1945-2011

Saturday Shootaround #8

TRIAL Version; I'm not too big on this being a thing yet. I will hold off until Commission Gary Bettman announces it is definitely a thing, then it will be a weekly Saturday comedic spin throughout the week's biggest headlines in hockey.

1. I know what you want me to talk about, and its true: DOWN GOES DION! DOWN GOES DION! (Cue Phil's pitiful Howard Cosell  impression) The Leafs captain taking the mandatory 8-count, and Ovechkin is POISED AS CAN BE!
2. If you searched for NHL VP of Player Safety Brendan Shanahan on the National Hockey League website, then you will find a plethora of videos of the former NHL player explaining in minute and thorough detail the meat behind many of the disciplinary rulings handed out so far this year. This is refreshing, given the history of closed door decisions that do not seem to go anywhere. Given his NHL experience and the success of his "Shanahan Summit" held during the lockout year, he also looks like someone who can kill me seven times before I hit the ground o_O Each video is as detailed as Grissom's explanation of the Zapruder film. Good work, Shanny! ^_^ (Please don't hurt me o_O)
3. What the MAGIC is this? Apparently, Phoenix Coyotes team captain and star forward Shane Doan is part of a host of memes throughout the world wide web. Perhaps, you saw a few littering this trial version of Saturday Shootaround. There are a bunch more out there, if you look hard enough (It's not that hard to find an internet hockey meme.
   

Realign Shuffle o_O

Give credit to the NHL marketing department for taking a simple realignment issue and turning it into a problem, or at least a anti-Canadian scheme to marginalize the participation of Canadian teams in the NHL playoffs. Commissioner Gary Bettman also a hand in this fiasco, which NHL governors approved for the upcoming 2012-13 season. It is a four-conference setup based on time zones, and while these conference do not have names, the league already decided who plays from where.

• Conference A (Smythe? Pacific?): VAN, CGY, EDM, SJ, LA, COL, PHX
• Conference B (Norris? Central?): CHI, DET, MIN, STL, DAL, WIN, NSH, CBJ
• Conference C (Adams? Northeast?): BOS, BUF, MTL, TOR, OTT, TB and FLA (Wait, what?)
• Conference D (Patrick? Atlantic?): NJ, NYI, NYR, PHI, PIT, WSH, CAR

1. What was the point? Since 1994, the best eight teams of each of the two conferences made the playoffs with the division leaders in each conference earning the top seeds in the playoffs. In the new system, the top four in each of the four conference makes the playoffs. So, if you finish fifth in conference A with a better record than a second or third ranked team in conference B you don't make the playoffs. The whole reason for the 1994 realignment was to insure the best teams made the playoffs, and now the NHL is forcing hockey back twenty years with other professional sports league laughed at the NHL's old 16/21 playoff system. This is worse, however, as Canada can only send at the maximum two NHL teams to the Stanley Cup semi-finals (Yes, I am aware Winnipeg is in Conference B, but how long before we see Winnipeg emerge as its champion in front of Chicago, Detroit, Minnesota, and so on? How long can Jets fans afford to wait?)
2. Can you say BIAS? It's obvious American television loves a good rivalry, so Crosby (Penguins) and Ovechkin (Capitals) in the same division was an obvious decision. No one dare separate Canada's westernmost teams, but the newly-formed Winnipeg Jets can be tucked away in the tough Norris-Central conference. Florida, for whatever reason, is too south to be a northeastern division team. Considering the number of hockey fans from outside in the state of Florida in the same division, who will visit the Lightning and Panthers' barns next season, far exceed the combined number of season ticket holders for both clubs, it will not be long under this alignment we may see the Panthers play hockey somewhere north (I may need to brush up on my French) o_O. Worse still, every team plays two home-and-home games against inter-conference opponents. That means Crosby visits Canada six times, down from season's 8+ visits. The Ovechkin steamroller also leaves the rubble that was the Southeast Division, and the Hurricanes, Lightning, and Panthers will not see him as much next year.
3. Admission of Guilt or Overreaction to a solvable problem? All the National Hockey League had to do next year was move Winnipeg to the Western Conference, and put Nashville in its place in the Southeast Division; it is simple and quick. However, NHL Marketing once again proved it could outdo its previous errors and make another ridiculous one. I don't know what it worse: This or the NHL Governors voting for this to go ahead? Sure, granting one of the first three seeds for division winners in each conference was a bad step; let the four best teams in each conference (3 division winners, 1 team with next best record) duke it out for the first four spots. The radical realignment plan proves the Southeast Division was doomed from the start, and did not generate anywhere near the amount of interest or fan base Bettman and Co. wanted us to believe was there (NHL Lockout and departure of Atlanta franchise to Winnipeg in spite of the tens of supporters dotting the arena parking in the "Save the Thrashers" campaign saw to that). This was all the NHL had to do...
1. Winnipeg Jets and Nashville Predators make a straight swap of their places in the SOUTHEAST and CENTRAL divisions respectively.
2. Winnipeg Jets move to the NORTHWEST division, Minnesota Wild moves to the CENTRAL division, and Nashville Predators move to the SOUTHEAST division.

As NHL teams leave the empty arenas of the southern United States, and head for colder climates and sellout stadiums in Canada, the marketing brass designed a realignment strategy that can promote expansion or movement of NHL franchises to the north, but also keep as many Canadian teams out of the Stanley Cup race as possible.

For once, I am not a fan of realignment.

There are supporters, so why not link to article just to be objective? (Ok...) Dan Rosen, senior writer for NHL.com, wrote something about the Wild and Stars meeting again in the new deal as well as realignment's high and low points.

Saturday Shootaround #7

Lucky number seven ^_^ Lucky for you Saturday Shootaround isn't a thing, otherwise we would need banners, balloons, streamers, confetti, and various dinosaurs...What? Oh yeah, that's right. It's a good idea to cancel the confetti, the stegosauri might choke on the paper; those are so small. The Christmas Family Dinner is tonight, so I can't go too bananas on the shootaround portion of this week's blog; Momzo asked me to hide all the sugar loaded snacks so the kids don't go crazy by the early evening O_O Just like last year -_-

Hey Mac, settle for a point?

1. There's nothing worse than gazing at the NHL.com front page and finding the Montreal Canadiens travelling to Los Angeles to play the Kings for a precious...wait for it...TWO points. Oh WOW! Already, one point is guaranteed if neither team does anything in the third period of a tie game, but to play for a HUGE two points? That's crazy talk! Of last night's six regular season matches, three went to overtime, and two ended via shootout. Neither of the division leaders, Detroit (CEN) and Minnesota (NRW) required more than sixty minutes to dispatch their opponents, yet middle of the pack or worse teams tonight needed the point to get their foot in the door. Do I spot a consistent trend over the last number of weeks that only "three points for a regulation win" system can eliminate. Three points equals increased goal scoring, incentive to find a result within sixty minutes, and everyone leaves the arena well before its time put the kids to bed.
2. Not only do the Calgary Flames stink this year, but they refuse to do away with the hideous and meaningless black piping on their home jerseys! Things are so bad now they even lost to Columbus on Thursday! o_O Full report of the game here; don't look too closely at them, however, those pointless points of pipes will put your eye out!
3. Hmm, "You'll shoot your eye out"? Where did I hear that one before?

"Speaking of PINK, the Ottawa Senators new uniform can be yours if you send $89,996 to the address on your screen!"

Gabby Gone & Captain, er, Coach Kirk

Apparently, four straight division titles and ownership of the record to the fastest to coach an NHL hockey team to 200 wins don't stand up anymore. Bruce Boudreau, who coached the Washington Capitals to consistency and heights they never ascended before, lost his job earlier this week after a less than steller start. Many attribute his departure to his frayed relationship with NHL superstar and team captain Alexander Ovechkin, who began with a career low in goals to this point in the regular season. The controversy came to a head during the late stages of the third period against the Anaheim Ducks on November 1st.

With the Capitals down 4-3 with 1:27 remaining in the third period, Boudreau called a timeout and put out a special power-play lineup to get the goal. Alexander Ovechkin, who expected to be on the ice for the play, stood up in the bench to go on, but coach Bruce Boudreau waved him off. Frustrated, Ovechkin fired off an expletive under his breath in response to the coach's decision.

With the Capitals mired in eighth place in the Eastern conference, it will be the job of Boudreau's replacement, former OHL London Knights' head coach and NHL enforcer Dale Hunter, to bring the Capitals back to their winning ways. Those familiar with the history of the National Hockey League will remember Dale Hunter as the guy that nearly put Islanders star Pierre Turgeon out of the playoffs after scoring an overtime winner against the Isles in 1993. Hunter has a history coaching talented offenses in the OHL, and offensive star players such as the Ducks' Corey Perry and the Islanders' John Tavares; both were first round selections in their respective NHL draft classes ^_^

With the return of Crosby and the Capitals lagging behind, management had to make a change. Washington media and hockey fans, in particular those of Ovechkin, demanded a change and a return to the freewheeling and fun-loving style of hockey that packed ESPN highlight reels with Ovechkin goals and pretty setups. Nevertheless, the Capitals brass charge Dale Hunter with the task of taking the Capitals back to the Stanley Cup final, but in the history of the franchise only one man did that so far, and he coaches the Maple Leafs ^_^

The upward climb of former NHL player Kirk Muller keeps on going, as the former 2nd overall pick in the 1985 draft moves from the assistant coach's spot in Montreal to the head coaching spot in Carolina (the Devils drafted him behind Mario Lemieux, which is pretty good company). My favourite memories of Kirk Muller will always be his locker room interviews before and after games, because he would ALWAYS look at the camera :D LOL You could bet, during a thorough, intelligent, and honest answer, Muller would look at the camera four or five times :)

You can't help but smile, and now he gets to do it again as coach of the struggling Hurricanes, who fired Paul Maurice to end his second stint with the club. The Carolina Hurricanes sit at the bottom of the Southeast Division; if it wasn't for the Hurricanes, however, Dale Hunter may have more work cut out for him o_O Kirk Muller takes over the vacant Carolina post after coaching the Admirals of the American Hockey League (that explains the previous video).

LOVE THAT SUIT: Nothing says "team unity" like a head coach dressed to kill in team colours, am I right, Carolina?

Here is hoping Dale Hunter and Kirk Muller get things going.

Saturday Shootaround #6

The bonus that comes with Saturday Shootaround not being a thing is you can spend the day taking care of business and getting over an annoying headache ^_^ Ouch o_O Hand me that aspirin >_<

Crosby + Ice Cream = Good deal ^_^

1. Did You Miss Me?: Fantasy team owners went bananas all over North America as Sidney Crosby returned to the ice for the Pittsburgh Penguins after missing most of the year with a concussion. He clicked to gears straight away scoring twice, and bagging four points in an epic 5-0 home rout of the New York Islanders. His moustache also claimed it would return as well, but no one could find the poor thing since team captain Sidney Crosby raised the Stanley Cup for the Penguins in 2009. My guess is Crosby is as pumped about being back as he is pumped about the Dairy Queen Blizzards he and his teammates will eat after the game. Good old Sid is still flying high about ice cream, I MEAN, hockey after picking up three more assists as his Penguins defeated the scumbag Senators 6-3 last night. Check out the stats of the game in the Halifax Chronicle-Herald link.

2. 

   Wellwood + Leads team in points (17) = Head scratch o_O

   Jets of Wrath: Don Cherry's favourite player, Kyle Wellwood, leads his Jets offense into Boston to take on the Bruins tonight, and I'm a little worried. The Bruins are on a tear; after their horrid start to this Cup-defending campaign they rolled off nine victories in their lat ten games this season! Bruins standout Tyler Seguin leads all players in that game with twenty-three points. I like Winnipeg, which served as the launchpad for the modern game from its WHA days, but I expected a little more from the Thrashers/Jets this season. New city, new uniforms, new expectations, and people actually in the stands for their games should put the Jets in the mix with the division leading Panthers (?), Capitals, and Lightning. Maybe when temperatures plummet, and Ovechkin and Green must push the team bus out of the snow after tough, cold weather game in Winnipeg the Jets will get it together o_O (Hi Carolina Hurricanes fans; I didn't forget you guys!)

3. 

   Columbus + Four goal lead to start + Fake Retro Jerseys = #WINNING

   Laugh Out Loud: I got to laugh at my friends, who support the Buffalo Sabres, this week ^_^ Not just because they lost 5-1 to the last place Columbus Blue Jackets in Ohio's capital city, but they also lost a step in the ranking of the best NHL jerseys! Professional hockey teams in the United States, or at least teams struggling to keep pace for playoff places, and fans in the seats before the first intermission and past the second intermission, wear third and fourth jerseys that add elements found on oldtimer hockey knit sweaters from days of yore. Columbus is probably among the best of the bunch of a teams that wear fake throwback, or fake retro jerseys: Navy primary, cream and ice blue accents, and the shoestring tie-on at the top of the jersey give it a nostalgic look ^_^ Until I discovered Buffalo threw in silver as well as an oddly placed number on the top right of their away jersey, I thought the Sabres were HIP recalling their historical look. Navy works with the Blue Jackets, as it is one of their main colours; not every team can pull it off though...right, Florida?

   

   You, Weiss guy, you can't fool me!

   Now, if you excuse me, I have to purchase more acetaminophen (Ooo, I stood up out my chair too quick o_O Owie owie owie ow! >_<)

Welcome Back SID

"Behind Blue Lines" welcomes back Sidney Crosby, the Pittsburgh Penguins captain and hockey star, to the ice as he returns to NHL action ^_^ Tonight's home game against the New York Islanders marks the first time in almost a year Crosby skated since being receiving a body check from Lightning defenseman Victor Hedman last season, and sustaining a second concussion.

So far in tonight's contest, Crosby scored twice, obtained four points, and helped the Penguins initiate and dictate play throughout the contest with his wins at the faceoff circle (67% as of the second period).

Crosby has a nose for goal, but his unselfish, humble, and well-rounded gameplay is a hit among Pittsburgh fans, and Canadian hockey fans (for obvious reasons LOL). Clicking to gears right away, the Penguins can feel at ease as a major piece to the Pittsburgh puzzle returns to the ice. This will serve notice to the Eastern Conference of the NHL, if not the League, the Penguins are a force to be reckoned with.

(A little while later...)

Oh, the Penguins defeated the Islanders 5-0, and its smiles all around for the city of Pittsburgh ^_^ Good to see Arron Asham give him a proper handshake at the end of the game, too: "This is a glove, and this is a handshake." I heard that while I was driving around the city for work last week.

All the best, Sid, and have a great season. Not as great as my Leafs and Phil Kessel, though, but still a great season. ^_^

P.S. INSERT OBLIGATORY SIDNEY CROSBY TEAM CANADA 2010 OLYMPICS HIGHLIGHT AS BROADCAST BY DIFFERENT COUNTRIES ALL OVER THE WORLD:

Saturday Shootaround #5

Hmm, @CheapLeafsTix is following me on Twitter. Is it possible Saturday Shootaround will help me score affordable tickets to NHL games? Perhaps Saturday Shootaround should become a weekly thing? Maybe not, if the other twenty nine NHL teams open up Twitter accounts, sell affordable hockey tickets online, and then follow me on Twitter I'll consider it. No pressure though; I'm glad @CheapLeafsTix is along for the ride, and I hope they score me some tickets so I can the UNDEFEATED Toronto Raptors! :D

Oh wait...

1. Burst the Bubble: My Toronto Maple Leafs lost to a pack of guys dressed like Juicy-Fruit gum packs! No, I'm not angry; I am just frustrated. The Nashville Predators defeated the Leafs 4-1 at home in the state of Tennessee, but the highlight everyone is talking about this week is a goal Predators rookie forward Craig Smith did not score. The only saving grace is the fact the Predators were already in a position to win the game, as they lead 3-1 at the time. For his sake, I'm glad the gaffe did not snowball into a "Patrik Stefan" type incident o_O Things like that only happen during soccer games, and before those soccer players receive the five thousand dollar handshake after the game for keeping the over/under down.
2. St. James Sighting: Speaking again of the Maple Leafs, starting goaltender James Reimer returned to practicing with the team after his coming out midway through the October contest away against Montreal. Toronto let out a collective sigh of relief, before realizing Reimer would not start against Alexander Ovechkin and the Washington Capitals tonight o_O According to NHL.com, Ron Wilson said it would be another week before Maple Leafs fans like me can wear their gear with pride, and avoid my Capitals loving friend Jessica online (Hi Jessica). By the way, the Maple Leafs games during the next week are against the following: Sunday at Carolina, Tuesday at Tampa Bay, Friday at Dallas o_O Panic much?



Hooray! Kessel (81) leaps into the waiting arms of Leafs Captain Dion Phaneuf!



Hug Don't Dive! Jamie Benn screams with delight with Mike Ribiero ^_^

3. Good Day Sunshine ^_^: I was so happy reading about hockey hugs over the week, that I decided to google "Hockey Hugs" online and find other good time pictures about hockey players celebrating, and being kids again. ^_^ I found lots of good times images, but be warned because there are a few not-so cool, "how did that get in there" pictures common in any Google search. I remember scoring my one and only goal in my hockey career, and when you score you immediately want to share that experience with as many people as you can, as shocking and ridiculous as the sight of you doing something productive at the rink in front of that girl from high school you liked, who was in the stands that night, and she thought I looked good ^_^ (Weren't you the slowest player on the team?) YNo! o_O (Didn't you trip on the end boards at the end of the game?) Maybe -_- (That google search of pictures of you as a short and fat player in roller hockey produced 300,000 hits, didn't it?) Oh look, another hockey hug picture! >_< (That's a baseball picture!) AHH!

NHL Newsmaker?

I thought about live blogging during the Leafs and Coyotes tilt tonight when Leafs captain Dion Phaneuf coughed up the puck at the Phoenix blueline, which opened the door to a two-on-one break going the other way culminating in an opening goal by Shane Doan, who scored his first point in seven games. So that idea, and the remote control, went out the window (the latter in a fit of frustration) -_-

I received some good news today: @NHLNewsFeed is following my tweets ^_^ This could be due to the success of Saturday Shootaround, which I'm not sure is a thing. It's still in its alpha testing mode, but I'm glad NHLNewsFeed is also pumped about the possibility of it becoming a weekly thing. This NHL tweeter joins @NHLFanChat as two prime NHL beatwriters following me on Twitter! I wonder what my name on Twitter would be if I became an authorized NHL beatwriter on the Tweetscape?

• NHLGoofball
• NHLHollywoodHockey
• NHoLlywood
• NHLPhilTweets
• NHLFanZone (I think that one is taken o_O)

I may need to prefix everything with NHL o_O Even medical records! O_O

Congratulations Blues!

Although that sounds like an oxymoron for a failed Prozac commercial, I do wish to congratulate the St. Louis Blues for blasting out of the gate for their new head coach, Ken Hitchcock. The Blues knocked off the defensive-minded Bolts from Tampa Bay with an impressive 3-0 win ^_^ to extend their win-streak to three games following the hire of the Cup-winning coach last week. Their next regular season game is tonight when they play the visiting Detroit Red Wings at 8:00pm. Their previous game against the Wings was in Detroit in March of the previous season, when they scored a 10-3 victory. A lot changed since then, in particular behind the bench for St. Louis, however the song remains the same in some respects, as the Blues are still rooted to the basement spots in the Western Conference. New head coach Ken Hitchcock is wants to change that, saying "To me, transition ... the whole game has to be played behind people...it's not so much chipping it in, it's just making people turn. That's the whole focus of the game. If everybody's on that page, then you play faster."

 The Detroit Red Wings also started the season on a slow pace, but they are sitting fifth in the Western Conference. Aside from the #1 seed in the West, the Chicago Blackhawks, a game against the Detroit Red Wings will be the litmus test for the Blues to see if they indeed have what it takes to be a threat in the Western conference, much less the Central Division.


(Information, photo and quotation from the St. Louis Blues' website)

Finally...

Again, my apologies to Admiral Ackbar for Saturday's blog posting, and divulging the secret base on the ice planet of Hoth. Fortunately, a couple of jedi knights and I stole the flux capacitor operating the scanner onboard from the lead Star Destroyer, thus giving our forces an opportunity to evacuate before the Empire knew of our plan to assault the moon base on Backes, I MEAN, Pietrangelo!

Phew, that was close o_O I hope I didn't give too much away.

Saturday Shootaround #4

Right now, Saturday Shootaround is in its ALPHA stage. I want to ensure there will not be any hiccups, in case I want this to be a thing.

1. The hockey world went crazy over the latest antics of Flyers coach Peter Laviolette in his team's match against the defensive minded Tampa Bay Lightning squad of coach Guy Boucher. If you don't know what antics transpired during the first period of their game, here are some...highlights? People hear the word "TRAP" and they immediately think of the Battle of Endor, I mean, boring hockey. It's true the lockout, variations of the "TRAP", and rule changes couldn't save the Thrashers in Atlanta, and even teams in the New York region are feeling the pinch. However, defensive hockey did give us creative players and inventive ways to wins game from different areas on the rink: Ovechkin in Washington, Crosby/Malkin/Fleury in Pittsburgh (?), and maybe Reimer in Toronto (when he returns from injury, because he stole games last year). Teams out there can beat the TRAP, even without the help of Admiral Ackbar and the rebel fleet...It depends on how patient fans will be with the 1-3-1 or with one player sliding in front of you to knock the puck off your stick (Andrew, yes I did just tell the Internet about your patented defensive method, and yes it did take me five minutes to type it in because I was laughing so much!
2. My man Sean Avery did something remarkable for the Rangers against the Carolina Hurricanes on Friday! When he needs to play, he CAN play; I knew he could do it! Go ahead, Sean Avery! :D
3. I'm not sure what will happen first: A Stanley Cup parade down Yonge Street here in Toronto, or one of my sisters losing money to the other when she discovers I have a girlfriend (I don't have a girlfriend, yet...?) The Maple Leafs defeated the St. Louis Blues via shootout in Sweet Missouri. Fresh from the press conference announcing their new head coach Ken Hitchcock, the 12th-seeded Blues rallied from 2-0 to send this Leafs fan to the hospital to claim one point from the contest in coach Hitchcock's debut. In the first fourteen games this year, whenever the Blues trailed to start the contest their record was 3-6, yet they only managed a 4-1 win-loss record when they score first. Coach Hitchcock will need to inspire his players to start games on the right foot, and that involves a change in the culture. Hopefully the Blues will buy into the new program, otherwise when the AT-ATs lumber toward the Scottrade Center the rebels will not have much of a chance to deploy their transports in time, I MEAN, the Blues will begin to suffer at the gate like so many other teams south of the Mason-Dixie line.