Blue Lines Revisited

In reviewing my blog entries from the past year, I decided to provide updates on the top stories of 2011 in "Behind Blue Lines". Well, that's too easy...I'll throw in a comedic twist ^_^ LOL

• Saying This Will Get Me Killed: Although Robin from HIMYM did rip up a Douglas fir and chase me with it, I am still very much alive.
• Mississauga, Relevancy, and the Memorial Cup: It's not only a trivia question, but it was also the second-last season for the Majors in Mississauga. The only thing that will prevent another departure of an OHL team from the Greater Toronto Area is a Memorial Cup win.
• Fun With NHL Realignment: My first realignment proposal before Gary Bettman and the Marx Brothers at NHL Marketing threw everyone for a loop, as well as a pie to my face (Yum, lemon meringue?)
• Forgotten Fire: A favourite column of mine, and one of my more recent good works (Surprising, I know! I mean, recent and good!)

To hockey fans around the world, and up my nose, I MEAN, up the street, have a wonderful New Year ^_^ See you in 2012!

WHAT THE MAGIC?

Islanders goaltender made two mistakes in this photo: The SECOND one is allowing that goal.

Dear New York Islanders,

I think I know why you lost 5-3 to the Toronto Maple Leafs in tonight's regular season contest, which saw you give up three goals to start the first period.

1. Collect jerseys + shorts from previous game
2. Put clothes in pile
3. Take pile into front parking lot
4. Ask players, coaches, management, and everyone affiliated with organization to form a circle, hold hands, and chant "Men of Snow" by Ingird Michaelson.
5. Ask Evgeni Nabokov to light a match, and set the pile on fire.
6. Continue chanting song until fire reduces pile of uniforms to ashes.
7. Never speak of those jerseys again.

Done and done ^_^

My NHL Christmas Wish List

With the NHL Christmas Break approaching, now would be an excellent time to go over my Wish List for the National Hockey League: What things I want, don't want, and no longer need.

Morley Safer: Don't worry, yo, I got this!

1. Three Points For a Regulation Win: I'm not a conspiracy buff, but when playoff teams drag contests into the wee hours of the morning to earn something from "three-point games" I throw up the red flag. Of the 517 regular season games played so far in the NHL, 110 went into the extra period, and of those 64 went to the shootout! So, in at least 20% of NHL games this season, 100% of kids attending the games with their parents were out way past their bedtimes! So that kids can tucked into bed, where sugar puck fairies (Ottawa Senators?) can dance in their heads, give a bonus to teams that finish the game in the least amount of time possible: 60 Minutes! In the time Morley Safer finishes his essay on the United States budget gap, the Toronto Maple Leafs can earn three points for winning a hockey game after three periods of play. Should a game require overtime and/or a shootout, the winner receives two points and the losing team earns one for putting the kids to sleep.



By the way, Joey Crabb (left) and the Leafs beat the Islanders (?) 5-3 tonight! ^_^

2. Goal Judges: What are they there for? We have cameras inside each hockey net, and above the net to review every puck which comes close to crossing the goal line! There is even technology available for when a player scores a goal, an alarm would sound the moment the puck crosses the line and enters the net. In an almost redundant exercise, a nameless, faceless, biased official chosen by the home team checks to see if he thinks the puck is inside the goal line and the net. Besides, those are prime seats! One could earn some serious coin selling tickets for that spot in the arena! ^_^
3. NHL Realignment Strategy: Alright, here is what I would do if the National Hockey League asked me to realign the league for the following season: Put Winnipeg in the NORTHWEST Division, place Minnesota in the CENTRAL, and replace the empty spot in the SOUTHEAST Division with Nashville! QUICK and SIMPLE, but no one listens to me! GRR!

Dear Behind Blue Lines readers,

I wanted to try out this thing called "Saturday Shootaround", which I'm not sure is a thing yet. I planned on doing it twice over the next couple of weeks, but since Christmas Eve and New Years' Eve fall on Saturdays this year I'm holding off until the new year. Don't worry, I intend on writing at least once on the subject of the great game of hockey each week ^_^ Maybe I'll try "Saturday Shootaround" in 2012; in the meantime, click this musical ode to old-time hockey starring the Philadelphia Flyers and the Los Angeles Kings!

Saturday Shootaround #9

A friend asked me why I number these "Saturday Shootaround" posts if "Saturday Shootaround" isn't a thing. Well, if they become a thing, then I will know how many I typed out before officially calling them a thing. I'm still not sure if "Saturday Shootaround" is a thing, so...

1. The news are preliminary, but NHL.com reports the Montreal Canadiens fired head coach Jacques Martin this morning o_O Considering their 13-12-7 record is good for propping up the other teams in the Northeast Division, I don't blame them for making the change. This is the sixth firing so far this season, and it's not even Christmas yet! One league is firing all of its head coaches, and another league is looking to hire big name coaches. I wonder how football coach Jon Gruden would handle the Montreal Canadiens? Anyone picture Brian Billick yelling about the 'lethargic' offense from behind the bench in Los Angeles? No...okay. When he lost his job in Ottawa, Martin went to the Siberian outpost of coaching spots in the National Hockey League, which is Florida (not so cold). No doubt, after bringing the Canadiens back from mediocrity, he will have another head coaching spot in a year or so. Randy Cunneyworth is the interim head coach for Montreal in the meantime.
2. Dave Semenko must be proud ^_^ Another hockey organization retired the #27 in his honour. I'm just kidding, they retired #27 in honour of former Devils defenseman Scott Niedermayer. The future Hall-of-Famer played on all three of the Devils' Cup-winning teams in 1995, 2000, and 2003 (Wow, spanning two decades ^_^). He also amassed 172 goals, and 740 points in just 1200 regular season games for the Devils (1991-2004) and Ducks (2006-2010), with whom he won his fourth Stanley Cup in 2006 over the lousy Ottawa Senators. Niedermayer's #27 is the third number retired by the New Jersey Devils organization, and joins fellow blueliners Ken Daneyko (#3) and Scott Stevens (#4) as the only men to be so honoured. Oh yeah, in his last year of professional hockey he played on Team Canada in the 2010 Winter Olympics, and won his second gold medal (Not that we care so much about hockey up here in Canada...). No Devils forwards received honours quite like this so far, which tells you something about the brand of hockey played in New Jersey, but they don't care: How many Cups did the Leafs win since I was alive? Yea, that's what they asked me, too -_-
3. Hey, look at that! Martin Brodeur and former Devils coach Larry Robinson are in the background of that picture I embedded in the previous point! Why it was only yesterday that I saw this on YouTube...(Dream sequence). Wow, they look...exactly the same o_O

To end this post, enjoy this video from the Scott Niedermayer retirement ceremony which took place yesterday ^_^ Where did I put it? Oh yeah, there it is.

The Forgotten Fire: The 2004 Calgary Flames

Flames captain Jarome Iginla (second from right) celebrates with teammates after Martin Gelinas' OT winner started team on incredible journey through the 2004 playoffs

Last Saturday, the Calgary Flames defeated their provincial rivals, the Edmonton Oilers, 3-0 at the Pengrowth Saddledome in Calgary, Alberta. Captain Jarome Iginla scored two of the Flames' three markers while goaltender Miikka Kiprusoff shut out the likes of Ryan Nugent-Hopkins, Ryan Smyth, and Jordan Eberle. Calgary takes their regular season best three-game win streak into Nashville to take on the Predators tonight at 8:00pm ET.
If names such as Iginla or Kiprusoff are familiar to you, then that may be since they are the last remaining players from the famous Calgary Flames team of 2004. While the Flames fell short of capturing hockey's ultimate prize, the 2004 version captured the hearts of a hockey-mad nation minus a few fans of the Oilers in Edmonton. However justly or unjustly, the expectations on the Flames to win it all still hang like Damocles' Dagger over the heads of management, coaches, and players. Seven teams in the NHL reside in Canada, but in some way there is a national expectation that Calgary return to those days in 2004, when previously unknown players became national icons: From Craig Conroy and his famous "Green Helmet", which passed through the ranks as a token of appreciation to each game's "unsung hero", to Mike Commodore's shiny red wig which became a marketing boon throughout southern Alberta. From Jarome Iginla's lone prime-time feature interview on CBC's The National with Peter Mansbridge, to the lucky yet aged Martin Gelinas, whose series-winning goals throughout the playoffs kicked off celebrations and impromptu road hockey games in the Calgary and along its "Red Mile". Of course, who could forget coach Darryl Sutter and his famous post-game interviews; appearing laid back and enjoying the ride, Sutter had the Canadian media in his pocket, and the American media waiting patiently outside the arena? The "C of Red", the "beaver-tailing", and the live feed from the "Red Mile" still exist in numerous tribute videos on YouTube today.

How did such a team garner so much admiration and praise from a nation without a Stanley Cup winner since 1993 (Montreal Canadiens; go ahead, rub it in)? Yes, that was one reason, yet there were many others. Calgary's road to the postseason was not easy, as it finished in sixth place in the Western Conference that year. Their first series against the division rival and leaders Vancouver Canucks was a spirited, seven-game affair featuring emergency backstops, desperate comebacks, and ultimate overtime success in the penultimate game. Perhaps it was thanks to the first of Gelinas' series winners, which announced the arrival of the team on the national stage? After all, no one believed such a plucky team led by an old-fashioned and defensive-minded coach (Sutter), the first black team captain (Iginla), a player gone twenty-four years since winning his first Cup in 1990 (Gelinas, Edmonton Oilers), and a collection of retreads and unknowns could become the first team to topple three successive division winners in one playoff year (Vancouver (NW), Detroit (CEN), and San Jose (PAC)). Then again, this was the classic Canadian story: A collection of hometown heroes and immigrants brought to one place in pursuit of the same dream, and along the way beat teams more advanced and talented in every position. This was not the story of the Calgary Flames, yet it was the story of the "Canada Flames" (That came from a Toronto Sun cartoon featuring the old Bell beavers Frank and George arguing over the latter's defection to the Calgary ranks).

We remember what was great about the Calgary Flames of 2004, but we also remember the controversy. If the words "Kerry Fraser" mean something to Maple Leafs' supporters, then it means something just as heinous and cruel in the minds of Flames' fans who remember that year. Fans perceived bias when Fraser helped to gift game four to the visiting Tampa Bay Lightning in the Stanley Cup Final, and to add further fuel to the fire the league dropped Fraser from his game six assignment, and put him back in for game seven. All was forgotten when young Oleg Saprykin notched the overtime winner in Game 5 in Tampa to give the Flames a 3-2 lead in the Cup final days later; with victory at home all but assured, CBC and ESPN Classic aired and re-aired select games from the Flames' first Stanley Cup-winning run in 1989. The series was over, the Cup was won, Iginla was MVP, all that remained was sixty minutes of skating around, two or three goals, and maybe a fight featuring Iginla and Bolts' star forward Vincent Lecavalier.

I was on a flight with my family from Toronto to London, England, when the Air-Transat pilot and captain announced to passenger sitting in the sardine can with wings that the Lightning won game six in overtime. He did not mention Gelinas' apparent Cup-winner, which my friend Megan saw cross the line as she was at the game just a few rows up behind then Tampa Bay netminder Nikolai Khabibulin. No one knows what discussion took place when the referees phoned the NHL offices in Toronto as they reviewed the goal. Future CGI interpretations of the event show a black cylindrical object stopping outside the goal, but no concrete footage of the Gelinas' game six overtime winner exists (Or can be found: DUH DUH DUH!). Back in Tampa Bay for game seven, the Lightning vanquished Calgary, who were still dismayed and disillusioned over the league taking their championship away. However, all the expectations Canada heaped on the Toronto Maple Leafs to win the Stanley Cup suddenly fell on the doorstep of the Calgary Flames organization.

The NHL lockout of 2005 distorted our perception of hockey forever in this country. The 2004 Calgary Flames became the paragon of a begone era, when fans did not see players as millionaires fighting multimillionaire owners for money belonging to normal folk. Canadian NHL teams did play in the Cup final in subsequent years since then, but never captured the hearts of Canadians across the country or across social strata: Memories and mistrust about the lockout persisted when the 8th seeded '06 Oilers lost to the Carolina Hurricanes in seven games, the low blow thuggery of the Ottawa Senators in '07 was never a hit with fans, or me for that matter, when they lost in five games to Anaheim, and the geographically detached and international squad from Vancouver played only two periods in the seventh game this past year in the 4-0 loss to the Bruins, which touched off disturbing images of destruction and riot in the streets of Vancouver. All the while, Calgary Flames players, coaches, and management came and went: Conroy, Commodore, Saprykin, Gelinas, Clark, Sutter, beaver-tailing, green helmets, and those red wigs are gone, and the unfortunate story of NHL draft bust Kris Chucko the next year furthered the demise of the Flames' momentum from 2004. Only Iginla and Kiprusoff remain as a paragon to those last days when hockey was more than a game, and not a business.

Today, there is a sense of 2004 and what it meant to the country. Maybe it was Sidney Crosby's gold medal winning goal in the 2010 Olympics that relegated those memories and expectations to the back of our minds, or perhaps it was a return to mediocrity as the Flames sit out the playoff picture in the Western conference? The now retired Craig Conroy sits in as an advisor to current GM Jay Feaster, who managed the Lightning to the Stanley Cup in 2004. Darryl Sutter's brother, Brent, now coaches the team, but for how much longer is anyone's guess given the current state of the team. Rumours persist about where Jarome Iginla will play hockey, and the aging Kiprusoff still holds down the starting goaltender job for the eighth straight year.

To this day, I never saw game six or seven of the 2004 Stanley Cup final. Sad but true, the few good memories I have of the 2004 Calgary Flames resonate in my mind. Had they won, everything I mentioned above would amount to only HALF of their accomplishments, but I would give it all back for Martin Gelinas to roof the puck over a laid out Khabibulin in overtime in Game 6 of the 2004 Cup final, because...

They deserved it.

Written in memory of Mrs. Anna Ficych, 1945-2011

Saturday Shootaround #8

TRIAL Version; I'm not too big on this being a thing yet. I will hold off until Commission Gary Bettman announces it is definitely a thing, then it will be a weekly Saturday comedic spin throughout the week's biggest headlines in hockey.

1. I know what you want me to talk about, and its true: DOWN GOES DION! DOWN GOES DION! (Cue Phil's pitiful Howard Cosell  impression) The Leafs captain taking the mandatory 8-count, and Ovechkin is POISED AS CAN BE!
2. If you searched for NHL VP of Player Safety Brendan Shanahan on the National Hockey League website, then you will find a plethora of videos of the former NHL player explaining in minute and thorough detail the meat behind many of the disciplinary rulings handed out so far this year. This is refreshing, given the history of closed door decisions that do not seem to go anywhere. Given his NHL experience and the success of his "Shanahan Summit" held during the lockout year, he also looks like someone who can kill me seven times before I hit the ground o_O Each video is as detailed as Grissom's explanation of the Zapruder film. Good work, Shanny! ^_^ (Please don't hurt me o_O)
3. What the MAGIC is this? Apparently, Phoenix Coyotes team captain and star forward Shane Doan is part of a host of memes throughout the world wide web. Perhaps, you saw a few littering this trial version of Saturday Shootaround. There are a bunch more out there, if you look hard enough (It's not that hard to find an internet hockey meme.
   

Realign Shuffle o_O

Give credit to the NHL marketing department for taking a simple realignment issue and turning it into a problem, or at least a anti-Canadian scheme to marginalize the participation of Canadian teams in the NHL playoffs. Commissioner Gary Bettman also a hand in this fiasco, which NHL governors approved for the upcoming 2012-13 season. It is a four-conference setup based on time zones, and while these conference do not have names, the league already decided who plays from where.

• Conference A (Smythe? Pacific?): VAN, CGY, EDM, SJ, LA, COL, PHX
• Conference B (Norris? Central?): CHI, DET, MIN, STL, DAL, WIN, NSH, CBJ
• Conference C (Adams? Northeast?): BOS, BUF, MTL, TOR, OTT, TB and FLA (Wait, what?)
• Conference D (Patrick? Atlantic?): NJ, NYI, NYR, PHI, PIT, WSH, CAR

1. What was the point? Since 1994, the best eight teams of each of the two conferences made the playoffs with the division leaders in each conference earning the top seeds in the playoffs. In the new system, the top four in each of the four conference makes the playoffs. So, if you finish fifth in conference A with a better record than a second or third ranked team in conference B you don't make the playoffs. The whole reason for the 1994 realignment was to insure the best teams made the playoffs, and now the NHL is forcing hockey back twenty years with other professional sports league laughed at the NHL's old 16/21 playoff system. This is worse, however, as Canada can only send at the maximum two NHL teams to the Stanley Cup semi-finals (Yes, I am aware Winnipeg is in Conference B, but how long before we see Winnipeg emerge as its champion in front of Chicago, Detroit, Minnesota, and so on? How long can Jets fans afford to wait?)
2. Can you say BIAS? It's obvious American television loves a good rivalry, so Crosby (Penguins) and Ovechkin (Capitals) in the same division was an obvious decision. No one dare separate Canada's westernmost teams, but the newly-formed Winnipeg Jets can be tucked away in the tough Norris-Central conference. Florida, for whatever reason, is too south to be a northeastern division team. Considering the number of hockey fans from outside in the state of Florida in the same division, who will visit the Lightning and Panthers' barns next season, far exceed the combined number of season ticket holders for both clubs, it will not be long under this alignment we may see the Panthers play hockey somewhere north (I may need to brush up on my French) o_O. Worse still, every team plays two home-and-home games against inter-conference opponents. That means Crosby visits Canada six times, down from season's 8+ visits. The Ovechkin steamroller also leaves the rubble that was the Southeast Division, and the Hurricanes, Lightning, and Panthers will not see him as much next year.
3. Admission of Guilt or Overreaction to a solvable problem? All the National Hockey League had to do next year was move Winnipeg to the Western Conference, and put Nashville in its place in the Southeast Division; it is simple and quick. However, NHL Marketing once again proved it could outdo its previous errors and make another ridiculous one. I don't know what it worse: This or the NHL Governors voting for this to go ahead? Sure, granting one of the first three seeds for division winners in each conference was a bad step; let the four best teams in each conference (3 division winners, 1 team with next best record) duke it out for the first four spots. The radical realignment plan proves the Southeast Division was doomed from the start, and did not generate anywhere near the amount of interest or fan base Bettman and Co. wanted us to believe was there (NHL Lockout and departure of Atlanta franchise to Winnipeg in spite of the tens of supporters dotting the arena parking in the "Save the Thrashers" campaign saw to that). This was all the NHL had to do...
1. Winnipeg Jets and Nashville Predators make a straight swap of their places in the SOUTHEAST and CENTRAL divisions respectively.
2. Winnipeg Jets move to the NORTHWEST division, Minnesota Wild moves to the CENTRAL division, and Nashville Predators move to the SOUTHEAST division.

As NHL teams leave the empty arenas of the southern United States, and head for colder climates and sellout stadiums in Canada, the marketing brass designed a realignment strategy that can promote expansion or movement of NHL franchises to the north, but also keep as many Canadian teams out of the Stanley Cup race as possible.

For once, I am not a fan of realignment.

There are supporters, so why not link to article just to be objective? (Ok...) Dan Rosen, senior writer for NHL.com, wrote something about the Wild and Stars meeting again in the new deal as well as realignment's high and low points.

Saturday Shootaround #7

Lucky number seven ^_^ Lucky for you Saturday Shootaround isn't a thing, otherwise we would need banners, balloons, streamers, confetti, and various dinosaurs...What? Oh yeah, that's right. It's a good idea to cancel the confetti, the stegosauri might choke on the paper; those are so small. The Christmas Family Dinner is tonight, so I can't go too bananas on the shootaround portion of this week's blog; Momzo asked me to hide all the sugar loaded snacks so the kids don't go crazy by the early evening O_O Just like last year -_-

Hey Mac, settle for a point?

1. There's nothing worse than gazing at the NHL.com front page and finding the Montreal Canadiens travelling to Los Angeles to play the Kings for a precious...wait for it...TWO points. Oh WOW! Already, one point is guaranteed if neither team does anything in the third period of a tie game, but to play for a HUGE two points? That's crazy talk! Of last night's six regular season matches, three went to overtime, and two ended via shootout. Neither of the division leaders, Detroit (CEN) and Minnesota (NRW) required more than sixty minutes to dispatch their opponents, yet middle of the pack or worse teams tonight needed the point to get their foot in the door. Do I spot a consistent trend over the last number of weeks that only "three points for a regulation win" system can eliminate. Three points equals increased goal scoring, incentive to find a result within sixty minutes, and everyone leaves the arena well before its time put the kids to bed.
2. Not only do the Calgary Flames stink this year, but they refuse to do away with the hideous and meaningless black piping on their home jerseys! Things are so bad now they even lost to Columbus on Thursday! o_O Full report of the game here; don't look too closely at them, however, those pointless points of pipes will put your eye out!
3. Hmm, "You'll shoot your eye out"? Where did I hear that one before?

"Speaking of PINK, the Ottawa Senators new uniform can be yours if you send $89,996 to the address on your screen!"