My NHL Christmas Wish List

With the NHL Christmas Break approaching, now would be an excellent time to go over my Wish List for the National Hockey League: What things I want, don't want, and no longer need.

Morley Safer: Don't worry, yo, I got this!

1. Three Points For a Regulation Win: I'm not a conspiracy buff, but when playoff teams drag contests into the wee hours of the morning to earn something from "three-point games" I throw up the red flag. Of the 517 regular season games played so far in the NHL, 110 went into the extra period, and of those 64 went to the shootout! So, in at least 20% of NHL games this season, 100% of kids attending the games with their parents were out way past their bedtimes! So that kids can tucked into bed, where sugar puck fairies (Ottawa Senators?) can dance in their heads, give a bonus to teams that finish the game in the least amount of time possible: 60 Minutes! In the time Morley Safer finishes his essay on the United States budget gap, the Toronto Maple Leafs can earn three points for winning a hockey game after three periods of play. Should a game require overtime and/or a shootout, the winner receives two points and the losing team earns one for putting the kids to sleep.



By the way, Joey Crabb (left) and the Leafs beat the Islanders (?) 5-3 tonight! ^_^

2. Goal Judges: What are they there for? We have cameras inside each hockey net, and above the net to review every puck which comes close to crossing the goal line! There is even technology available for when a player scores a goal, an alarm would sound the moment the puck crosses the line and enters the net. In an almost redundant exercise, a nameless, faceless, biased official chosen by the home team checks to see if he thinks the puck is inside the goal line and the net. Besides, those are prime seats! One could earn some serious coin selling tickets for that spot in the arena! ^_^
3. NHL Realignment Strategy: Alright, here is what I would do if the National Hockey League asked me to realign the league for the following season: Put Winnipeg in the NORTHWEST Division, place Minnesota in the CENTRAL, and replace the empty spot in the SOUTHEAST Division with Nashville! QUICK and SIMPLE, but no one listens to me! GRR!

Dear Behind Blue Lines readers,

I wanted to try out this thing called "Saturday Shootaround", which I'm not sure is a thing yet. I planned on doing it twice over the next couple of weeks, but since Christmas Eve and New Years' Eve fall on Saturdays this year I'm holding off until the new year. Don't worry, I intend on writing at least once on the subject of the great game of hockey each week ^_^ Maybe I'll try "Saturday Shootaround" in 2012; in the meantime, click this musical ode to old-time hockey starring the Philadelphia Flyers and the Los Angeles Kings!